You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in ”-o”:
arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
You think it was normal to have a leader called Kevin.
You understand that the phrase ‘a group of women wearing black thongs’ refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
You believe the ‘l’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional.
You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.
You believe that salty Yeast Extract makes a good breakfast spread.
You’ve also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man.
And the women make the Salad.
You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them.
You understand that ‘excuse me’ can sound rude, While ‘scuse me’ is always polite.
You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
You still think of Kylie as ‘that girl off Neighbours’.
You know that there is a universal place called “woop woop” located in the middle of nowhere…no matter where you actually are.
You say ‘no worries’ quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You understand what no wucking furries means.
You know that some people pronounce Australia like “Straya” and that’s ok.
And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.